My Birthday Again? It's only been a year.

It is my birthday this week and I have started to wonder what that means anymore. Once you turn 16, life is great because you get a drivers license. At 17, you don’t have to sneak into rated R movies anymore. The 18th birthday brings the ability to buy cigarettes and more importantly, porn. Birthdays 19 and 20 are all building up to the point where you can buy alcohol, but after that…then what? What do I have to look forward to? I will turn 26 only to reinforce the fact that my life is over a quarter spent. Since I am almost dead, I figured that a birthday bash is the only way to go. Therefore, I have decided to invite all of you to my party. To save on postage I have attached the invitation:

Since you have all been formally invited I hope you can make it out to the party! Also, if you are wondering what I want for my birthday, the list is rather simple and it goes something like this:

Birthday list:
1. Socks
2. The revocation of the 19th Amendment
3. Yosemite Sam mud flaps
4. “Yentl” on VHS
5. Do-it-yourself embalming kit

I gave this same list to my mom and she said she would get the socks. So anything else on the list would be appreciated.

Since I am getting older, that means my wife is getting older to. She is 26 now, so I'm thinking maybe I could trade her in for two 13 year olds? No, I am only kidding, she would kill me if I only got two 13 year olds for her; she’s thrifty like that.

I have always heard that you’re only as old as you feel and I think that is a bunch of crap! Sometimes, I feel about 120 years old when that alarm clock goes off and I struggle to climb out of bed to get to class. I bet whoever made up that saying never had 6 Mai-tais and 8+ shots of tequila before trying to get up for an eight o’clock Ethics class.

I hope to see you all at my party this weekend, and remember gift cards will not be accepted due to lack of thought on your part. I am not really worried about getting older, because Abraham Lincoln had it right when he said, “It’s not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years."