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Waiting for you

As I sit on the stairs of Meadows quietly pondering what my next blog will be about, my mind slowly drifts to the realization that I have no friends. Now wait. I have a wife and an overactive child, but as a 26-year-old commuter student, I have no SMU friends. It may be my misanthropic attitude or just poor hygiene, but still I haven’t managed to make a single friend.
SMU is a great place with many different kinds of people; so I really should try to make a friend. So I've hatched a plan. My plan is to put a listing on Craigslist, searching for a friend that attends SMU. It is clearly the easiest way to make a friend.

Here is the posting I've listed:

“Subject: Student seeking friend at SMU.

My name is Matt and I am an advertising major seeking an on-campus friend. Applicants to be my friend should be taller than five feet and have all appendages.  Any applicants must be less attractive,  not quite as humorous as myself, and must also have the ability to change diapers. Attractive females need not apply - my wife will murder you.

To apply, please send a friendly response and a picture of yourself. Pay based on experience."

While waiting for a friendly response, I've received a call from my cousin who was asking how my dentist appointment went earlier today.  After describing to him how the hygienist had huge, um…fingers, my cousin said he was going to a movie if I wanted to come along. I politely declined, explaining to him I was waiting for a reply from a potential friend. 

About two hours later, my computer grabbed my attention with the obligatory “bling” sound and I ran to see the new email.  Disappointing. The new email was a false alarm. It was just my sister inviting me to go shopping. Clearly, I could not go for fear of missing a response from my unknown friend out there.

So far the day has been a loss. Just a little while ago, I had just started to doze off for a short nap when my co-worker busted in the door and said we were going to enjoy a Cowboys game on his dime.  Once more I was forced to decline, due to my need to stay by my computer to answer any replies.

It has now been six hours and still no response.  What am I supposed to do?  How will I ever make friends if no one will email me?  Fine. I give up.  Fate has determined that I will have no social interaction whatsoever.

So next time you see me sitting on the steps of Meadows typing away on my MacBook, don’t just drop change into my coffee cup. Say, 'hi!' and maybe we can be friends.

Got to go high school buddy is calling and he wants to play some golf. Not today Jon, I'm waiting for a friend!